reflection on 2 years

It's almost then end of the year.  2018  I re-read my posts from 2016, almost made me cry again.  actually I did cry a bit.  I still can't believe I'm divorced.  The shame, hurt, and just complete devastation.

I got sick recently, Nov 11, 2018--it took literally 14 full days to recover, by far the first week was the worst--but ODDLY, this was the first time since my husband left me that I got sick.

I know that sounds weird, but I see it as some kind of a sign.  When your body is stressed, your immune system is weakened  and you are more prone to illness.  Why didn't I get sick at ALL for the past 2 years?  was it a way my body was being resilient because the toxic marriage was over?
I was so pressured to get married.  I extended the engagement to over a year, I called from deployment and told him I was unsure about getting married. I still went thru w it--again, other peoples expectations.  Me not wanting to upset things, people please.

And I have/had this habit of biting my nails, did it my entire life, disliked it, it drove my former spouse crazy--but again since he's been gone, I just don't bite my nails anymore.   They grow so long now I have to actively trim them because they get in the way of typing. There was no intention to stop it, it just happened.  Again weird--what is the world's energy trying to tell me?

So MUCH happened in 2 years, living w a porta potty vs. a bathroom, getting forced into a divorce I didn't want, betrayal, toxic job, leaving the job, getting a different, far better job, having the cottage finished, going to Singapore, Going to Australia, spending a month in Europe, getting another cat, getting my garage plans done, getting it started, and now getting it almost finished.

Dating--Omar was lovely, my Delta pilot and retired COL.  Going to VT w him was so much fun, his little touches on the plane were amazing, he made me feel wonderful.  Charlottesville w him several times, TN, the Island, Denver at the Ritz.  The ROSES. He was such a good rebound man.

And Parker, How could I forget about Parker--we met in Bermuda, and VA and KY.  What a sweetie, a gentleman, classy for sure.
UPS CAPT--love Parker, we are still friends.

Then Edward in Australia, what a lovely man.  And that accent OMG, he was so sexy and cheeky.

Now I have met a new man, Jeff--he's different, still a pilot, so still definitely my type, 777 CAPT, flew in the RAF.  But he's sweet and he makes an effort to every night send a sweet text and similarly each morning, but not so early to wake me up.  (5 hrs apart)  He is a new relationship, and I don't want to project anything, but I'm very much looking forward to Christmas in London. His accent is to die for as well!  Very British! Kind--that is an unusual word in my men experiences--KIND.  Not pompous, egotistical, full of himself, but genuinely kind.


Soon my garage will be done, and my tiny house.  Yay!  I will get all the stuff organized and get to decorate the studio and tiny house.  So excited to do that and take my time and enjoy the process.

I want to type in this very public blog: Going to church during this awful transition time in my life has been such a life-ring.  I did not go to church for 39 years.  Now I go every Sunday that I'm home. I really like to go.  I like my new family at church. I like going w my friend. I like how I feel after.  I like working at the yard sale and typing the minutes for the Vestry.  I like that church has helped to make me a better person.

When I have horrible dreams, I pray or read a faith based book or some faith based stuff on Pinterest. When I feel lonely, I do the same. It helps.  It really, really helps.

12K Garage door

More progress

W Hardiplank and my custom 120 mph wind rate garage door 

Garage Progress

Well with sides and a roof, the size and shape of the Garage is shocking.  It's really BIG,  they started adding the 48 stand-offs to the roof to hold the solar panels. This should generate enough solar power to make my electric bill ZERO.

I will be away for nearly 3 weeks, I wonder what it will look like when I get back, I'm a bit worried.  But there are plans!

And I'll have internet, so it's not like I can't be contacted.

It will be so nice to have a place for my car out of the elements this winter.

Garage framing Commences

So the garage floor was poured in May, it sat for 2 months and Al finally got around to the framing.  He started that this last week.  After framing,  the specialized roofing (TPO)  with the solar panel studs will start.  This is a unique one of one garage plan, w an angled roof, so very non-standard.  They had made SOME more progress yesterday, but had to rip it out because it was not according to plans.  But not my issue.  I'm not paying for his misstep.  And he knows that.  Everyday after they leave which is about 3:45pm, I go around and pick up all the nails, left over trash, although they make a small effort to cleanup, and use an electric blower to get rid of all the sawdust and dirt.  It's a clean work site.  

I feel better about timing because as part of the contract he has to have it all finished by Jan 1st or he starts paying me $125/week for each week over. 

plumb line

view from upstairs of the beach cottage

framing the studio

Painting the exterior

So finally after a contract last fall, the painting has begun.  It's a big CHANGE, but my life has changed dramatically, too. SO this is a representation of that as well.  This time around, I hired a professional.  They are calking all the places that need calking, scraping the loose old paint off, really a nice job, it will be 3 coats, can't wait to see the accent color on the doors and shutters, it will be an eggplant blue.  

While I know it is VERY bright,  it will soon be dwarfed and mostly hidden by the LARGE garage that is being built.
I think I will make that dark blue and red accents.   It's a beachy colored beach house, and I have no HOA----YAY!    so I can do fun and festive, if I hate it, I can have it repainted in a few years.   Total bill for paining about 7K.

just started painting, new garage in foreground

Front view progress

Some lovely coneflowers, lilies, and lantana