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| new powder coated flashing |
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| new cap to keep things out! |
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| pre replacement chimney flashing |
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| pre photo |
Almost finished
dwarfs the beach house
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Chimney flashing
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
After Christmas
As if on cue, the scrappers grabbed the old 4 ft water heater from the curb almost as soon as Al and I set it out on the curb.
It sorta reminds me of the scrapping job that Han Solo did for some cash in one of the Star Wars movies---Princess Leia died today, I could have predicted that after she came in from a London to LA flight in arrest and they were performing CPR for 10+ minutes.
Still sad. She played an awesome, empowered character. And she was in the Blues Bros, too.
Damn lots of people dying, and all I have had to deal with was divorce. I suppose it could have been worse.
I met a guy, not sure yet if he's a naked bus driver. Time will tell. But he's foreign born, so some is lost in translation.
I have still much to paint.
I learned how to use the air nail gun today, it was fun, I tricked out the cats feeding area, modified/made from the old cast iron bathtub. Also spray insulated.
Al has been great! I'm pretty sure he's one of the guardian angels that Dr. Pat talks about. He sent me some scripture on forgiveness. I'm not there yet---can't even forgive me. I'm not sure I've forgiven Dad, but he has been dead a long time ---29 years.
I want to start working on the book, but I will not do that until the house is done and I have moved back in.
So perhaps I will work on it as I'm flying to Japan. What a good use of my 56 hours in the air.
It sorta reminds me of the scrapping job that Han Solo did for some cash in one of the Star Wars movies---Princess Leia died today, I could have predicted that after she came in from a London to LA flight in arrest and they were performing CPR for 10+ minutes.
Still sad. She played an awesome, empowered character. And she was in the Blues Bros, too.
Damn lots of people dying, and all I have had to deal with was divorce. I suppose it could have been worse.
I met a guy, not sure yet if he's a naked bus driver. Time will tell. But he's foreign born, so some is lost in translation.
I have still much to paint.
I learned how to use the air nail gun today, it was fun, I tricked out the cats feeding area, modified/made from the old cast iron bathtub. Also spray insulated.
Al has been great! I'm pretty sure he's one of the guardian angels that Dr. Pat talks about. He sent me some scripture on forgiveness. I'm not there yet---can't even forgive me. I'm not sure I've forgiven Dad, but he has been dead a long time ---29 years.
I want to start working on the book, but I will not do that until the house is done and I have moved back in.
So perhaps I will work on it as I'm flying to Japan. What a good use of my 56 hours in the air.
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| washer and dryer under on demand gas water heater |
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| bathroom floor before penny tile |
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| trim on book shelves and new bay window |
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| penny tile form Germany |
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| new front door canopy, to avoid the rain a bit when unlocking the door |
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| hurricane shutter, they crank down from inside |
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| cooper checking out the sanded floors. |
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
PLUMBING
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| water heater will be ABOVE washer and dryer, inside to protect it from salty water and spray! |
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| a close up of the on demand, gas water heater |
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| lovely beveled subway tile set at 1/3 spacing, looks so clean! |
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| these were the old plumbing pipes: replaced |
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| disgusting old pipes from kitchen sink |
Monday, November 28, 2016
Contractors 11/28/16
Today, the Monday after thxgiving I had:
The tile guy: Jessie come work on the floor. He cut the large tiles to accommodate the penny tile wave.
The Window guys returned to do some trim, but had to call 2 different guys, to get the filler and the correct size trim. They could not do the bathroom window, because the tile was wet.
They did not finish the windows in the office, because they need a missing piece for the lock.
They did teach me how to correctly close the windows and lock them, and how to add the window screens which are inside the house, not on the outside.
The Va Natural gas man, he checked on the meter, repainted it, and got it set up for plumbers tomorrow.
The chimney guys, said the new roof flashing sucked and I need a cap, but there are no obstructions.
So for $913, including a 15% military discount, they will fix the flashing and cap it w a stainless steel cap.
The mini- wood burning FP is an option, but I will need an insert into the chimney. Will research that and possibly do it at a later time.
Now I need to go to laundromat and to home depot, need more PRIMER KILZ.
Tomorrow PLUMBER!
And jessie (tile guy said he'd be back at 8 am -ish!
The tile guy: Jessie come work on the floor. He cut the large tiles to accommodate the penny tile wave.
The Window guys returned to do some trim, but had to call 2 different guys, to get the filler and the correct size trim. They could not do the bathroom window, because the tile was wet.
They did not finish the windows in the office, because they need a missing piece for the lock.
They did teach me how to correctly close the windows and lock them, and how to add the window screens which are inside the house, not on the outside.
The Va Natural gas man, he checked on the meter, repainted it, and got it set up for plumbers tomorrow.
The chimney guys, said the new roof flashing sucked and I need a cap, but there are no obstructions.
So for $913, including a 15% military discount, they will fix the flashing and cap it w a stainless steel cap.
The mini- wood burning FP is an option, but I will need an insert into the chimney. Will research that and possibly do it at a later time.
Now I need to go to laundromat and to home depot, need more PRIMER KILZ.
Tomorrow PLUMBER!
And jessie (tile guy said he'd be back at 8 am -ish!
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| laundry area, painted a JADE MIST |
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| still need to pain, under the stairs. This is where murphy bed will go. |
Saturday, November 5, 2016
New Windows!!
Thursday, November 3, 2016
more work, heated floor
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| stylish and functional grab bar, will install fold down teak seat at a later date |
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| removing window in new closet/laundry area |
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| new bathroom floor, shower in grey |
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| starting the process for the heated bathroom floor |
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| Schlüter system, keeps floor at constant temp. you set via thermostat. |
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| leveling compound to make floor level, dries in about 4 hours |
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Sunday 530 am
awake. Can't sleep. Got up to pee. When I got back into bed, Gavel had peed in the sheets. Fuck. Twice since Tuesday. And I have no washer or dryer. And it's 530 in the am.
I read lots of blogs and posts and vet based articles online about aberrant peeing. I'm still not sure how to fix it. Gavel is my special needs cat. It is a cross I have to bear. He is a great cat sometimes. Like yesterday when I was crying, he sat on my lap, which is very unusual, and just comforted me. He's also a good watch cat. He is alert an hears people approach the house and reacts before I hear them.
But then twice this week, since I had to move him upstairs, he's peed on the bed. I have become more wise and I have double waterproof pads on the mattress.
But normally I have a washer and dryer too. Well I was planning on doing laundry at moms today anyway.
He has also peed on 2 very expensive relax the back zero gravity chairs. I have used a combination of vinegar, baking soda, and soap to get the smell out, but it doesn't work. I can buy replacement leather for the chairs. But the style of the chairs is modern. They would've looked great in the new house. But now they're just taking up space in the garage. NO NEW HOUSE.
Gavel is now on the porch alone. SORTA LIKE JON IS ALONE. although I doubt that. I'm sure he is seeking solace and an easy fuck on any and every trip he goes on. How lucky for him that I arranged a vasectomy six years ago for him.
Meanwhile, I have sheets wet with Cat pee.
Jon did not like the fact that I adopted Gavel or Cooper, I admit 5 cats is too much, they are a lot of work. But I also couldn't let them be. I actually found the owners for Gavel. But after the third time, I stopped calling them and got him neutered myself. Then I tried-- pretty hard--- to find a him a new home. But that didn't work. Then, his family of origin, was arrested in a drug sting. Evidently the DEA had been investigating this guy for five years. So we had this big drug lord living in our neighborhood in Texas. So that is how I got Gavel.
I name him Gavel for several reasons. The first was because his family didn't take care of him despite the fact I found him and returned him to them three times. They had not even had him neutered. But also Jon was in Iraq, and was working with an Iraqi who was a lawyer. Jon respected this man and this man was scheduled to become a judge. So Jon asked me to find a gavel and have it engraved with this man's name on it. So I did. And I sent it to him to jon to give as a gift.
That was 2010. Just last year or maybe earlier this year Jon told me that this "judge" was able to come to the US with his family via asylum.
Cooper came to me in August after Fallon died in April. I tried to ignore him but he came back. I took him to the vet. He was neutered but had FIV. THE SHITTY vet said let him be. (Outside)
But FIV is contagious via cat bites. So the idea is to contain it. I never went back to that vet. Cooper is a wonderful gentle sweet cat.
I'm getting a massage at 9 am. What to do for 2 hours? Finish my now cold coffee. Watch sunrise....not till 727 am.
So glad I had 4 days in a row off. Work with all this shit was killing me.
I have a cavity. I don't know why. I'm a good flosser , I only have one cup of coffee a day and then water. Julie's says it was from previous years abuse. And carries are indolent and grow slowly. Julie is my dentist. We were in the navy and coast guard together. We were both railroaded out of the military by Asshole threatened senior male officers. Both of us were commanders (ltcol). And left at 15 yrs of service because it was so hellish.
Anyway. I need to be writing this in my book. Not a blog.
I read lots of blogs and posts and vet based articles online about aberrant peeing. I'm still not sure how to fix it. Gavel is my special needs cat. It is a cross I have to bear. He is a great cat sometimes. Like yesterday when I was crying, he sat on my lap, which is very unusual, and just comforted me. He's also a good watch cat. He is alert an hears people approach the house and reacts before I hear them.
But then twice this week, since I had to move him upstairs, he's peed on the bed. I have become more wise and I have double waterproof pads on the mattress.
But normally I have a washer and dryer too. Well I was planning on doing laundry at moms today anyway.
He has also peed on 2 very expensive relax the back zero gravity chairs. I have used a combination of vinegar, baking soda, and soap to get the smell out, but it doesn't work. I can buy replacement leather for the chairs. But the style of the chairs is modern. They would've looked great in the new house. But now they're just taking up space in the garage. NO NEW HOUSE.
Gavel is now on the porch alone. SORTA LIKE JON IS ALONE. although I doubt that. I'm sure he is seeking solace and an easy fuck on any and every trip he goes on. How lucky for him that I arranged a vasectomy six years ago for him.
Meanwhile, I have sheets wet with Cat pee.
Jon did not like the fact that I adopted Gavel or Cooper, I admit 5 cats is too much, they are a lot of work. But I also couldn't let them be. I actually found the owners for Gavel. But after the third time, I stopped calling them and got him neutered myself. Then I tried-- pretty hard--- to find a him a new home. But that didn't work. Then, his family of origin, was arrested in a drug sting. Evidently the DEA had been investigating this guy for five years. So we had this big drug lord living in our neighborhood in Texas. So that is how I got Gavel.
I name him Gavel for several reasons. The first was because his family didn't take care of him despite the fact I found him and returned him to them three times. They had not even had him neutered. But also Jon was in Iraq, and was working with an Iraqi who was a lawyer. Jon respected this man and this man was scheduled to become a judge. So Jon asked me to find a gavel and have it engraved with this man's name on it. So I did. And I sent it to him to jon to give as a gift.
That was 2010. Just last year or maybe earlier this year Jon told me that this "judge" was able to come to the US with his family via asylum.
Cooper came to me in August after Fallon died in April. I tried to ignore him but he came back. I took him to the vet. He was neutered but had FIV. THE SHITTY vet said let him be. (Outside)
But FIV is contagious via cat bites. So the idea is to contain it. I never went back to that vet. Cooper is a wonderful gentle sweet cat.
I'm getting a massage at 9 am. What to do for 2 hours? Finish my now cold coffee. Watch sunrise....not till 727 am.
So glad I had 4 days in a row off. Work with all this shit was killing me.
I have a cavity. I don't know why. I'm a good flosser , I only have one cup of coffee a day and then water. Julie's says it was from previous years abuse. And carries are indolent and grow slowly. Julie is my dentist. We were in the navy and coast guard together. We were both railroaded out of the military by Asshole threatened senior male officers. Both of us were commanders (ltcol). And left at 15 yrs of service because it was so hellish.
Anyway. I need to be writing this in my book. Not a blog.
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Saturday, not a great day
It was perfect weather, started cold 46 this AM, but warmed up nicely to high 70's maybe 81 degrees, sunny, no humidity.
Nothing going on at the beach house.
I had to get up for a haircut at 930. I was gonna cut it all off and doing something radical, but I decided against it at the last minute.
I finally told my stylist about my ending marriage. She was upset I had not told her earlier. But she was VERY brand new engaged and they just bought a house together. I could NOT tell her before. That would have taken the shine off her new engagement.
But I did so and I did not shed a tear, almost, but I held it together. Oddly, her next client was also a female physician and overheard me telling her my sad pitiful story...this next client, introduced her self as another physician and told me her husband cheated on her during residency, too.
WTF? Is this a curse of professional woman, like the OSCAR curse, win an Oscar for best female acting and you have your marriage end?
I have no toilet or shower, gross as it sounds, I pee in a throw away container and pour it down the sink, I go the the marina or Starbucks, too. I have water, but no hot water. (Yet)
I shower at mom's house, do laundry there too. (thanks Mom)
I went and shopped for a bathroom faucet, because the plumber poo-pooed (no pun intended) the one I had bought from HOUZZ, told me to get Delta or Brizo the high end version of Delta.
I liked this one at Lowe's by GROHE, so I got that.
I sent the other back to HOUZZ.
Then, something about "pick this stuff out", just really got to me and I almost had an anxiety attack. Maybe more like a panic attack. I just felt that NOTHING would ever be the same again. That I would never have anyone to love or be intimate with or help me pick out stupid faucets.
I missed my husband so much, I just had to go home and cry and cry and cry.
In fact, I can't believe I can actually make urine with the volume of fluids lost in tears.
Jennifer, my buddy from UHC is also in a divorce process, too, she was married to an anesthesiologist. She's probably 6-9 months ahead of me in the process. She has 3 kids though. She is 41 and is lovely, has wonderfully blond, curly, beachy, hair. Makes sense, she does live in California. She is a PA. He is making her life HELL.
He cheated on her w the mother of one of her kids classmates. But different from me, he wants her back, his family still talks to her. But I guess that's the kids.
She can't stand him (ex to be), but misses being in a marriage. She is going on dates, too, but we both know that we are not healthy enough to date...but it's just something we have to do.
She called and was having a "bad" day too.
I took a nap after crying so much. I had already agreed to a b-day party with the neighbors, so I had to get up and go. I'm glad I did.
These folks are kind, Bill had turned 65 and his wife threw him a surprise party, as it turns out, his boat is on the same dock as ours.
He works in Richmond during the week. They too are on their 2nd marriage.
Anyway, I met a new couple friend.
I drank water. I'm glad I had no alcohol.
Then I get a shitty email from Jon, telling me the Texas house lease will be notarized and should get a copy soon. (that part was good, ) But he had read this BLOG and liked the pix, but felt the content was inappropriate for a public forum....FUCK HIM.
So I made it private. He no longer has access. So if you are reading this, you are considered, my trusted few.
My pal from TX sent me a book --it is religious based, but so far it's awesome, I'm on chapter 4 (thanks Val) it's basically stories from the Bible of how people deal with issues like mine, but then the Bible stories are translated w modern spins--so sorta Bible for dummies.
I'm gonna go read that and a short book called HEAL Thyself by Bach ( recommended by my life coach)
I could have retorted back to Jon with FUCK you, but I did not. I simply chose to ignore his remarks, not respond to his email and now my blog is private.
That is what my life coach has taught me: responding in a higher level, not animal behaviors (fuck you) but human behaviors: no response, make blog private.
There is this guy I met on match.com. He's a widower x 9 yrs, but something is off about him. So I'm not gonna keep texting w him. He looks good on paper, and looked attractive in photos, but I don't want to be anyone's intsant Mom. Plus he does't have a smart phone and that already makes me suspicious, told me to buy him one--that screams scam.
So bye-bye Joseph. Also Bye-bye to Gregg, the United pilot, Tom the detective/cop in Richmond.
But I do have a 2nd date w Brian the attorney in richmond. Sometime in November when I go up again for work, he also mentioned about meeting in Wmsburg for an early dinner. Maybe, he was cute and smart, shorter than I would have preferred, but taller than me. Hh also has a home build in the early 50's, so we have that in common. He has 2 kids in college both at VCU.
So much for this being a blog about a renovation, it's now become a blog about me. Maybe some renovation.
Thx for reading it. I suppose its just my online journal.
Nothing going on at the beach house.
I had to get up for a haircut at 930. I was gonna cut it all off and doing something radical, but I decided against it at the last minute.
I finally told my stylist about my ending marriage. She was upset I had not told her earlier. But she was VERY brand new engaged and they just bought a house together. I could NOT tell her before. That would have taken the shine off her new engagement.
But I did so and I did not shed a tear, almost, but I held it together. Oddly, her next client was also a female physician and overheard me telling her my sad pitiful story...this next client, introduced her self as another physician and told me her husband cheated on her during residency, too.
WTF? Is this a curse of professional woman, like the OSCAR curse, win an Oscar for best female acting and you have your marriage end?
I have no toilet or shower, gross as it sounds, I pee in a throw away container and pour it down the sink, I go the the marina or Starbucks, too. I have water, but no hot water. (Yet)
I shower at mom's house, do laundry there too. (thanks Mom)
I went and shopped for a bathroom faucet, because the plumber poo-pooed (no pun intended) the one I had bought from HOUZZ, told me to get Delta or Brizo the high end version of Delta.
I liked this one at Lowe's by GROHE, so I got that.
I sent the other back to HOUZZ.
Then, something about "pick this stuff out", just really got to me and I almost had an anxiety attack. Maybe more like a panic attack. I just felt that NOTHING would ever be the same again. That I would never have anyone to love or be intimate with or help me pick out stupid faucets.
I missed my husband so much, I just had to go home and cry and cry and cry.
In fact, I can't believe I can actually make urine with the volume of fluids lost in tears.
Jennifer, my buddy from UHC is also in a divorce process, too, she was married to an anesthesiologist. She's probably 6-9 months ahead of me in the process. She has 3 kids though. She is 41 and is lovely, has wonderfully blond, curly, beachy, hair. Makes sense, she does live in California. She is a PA. He is making her life HELL.
He cheated on her w the mother of one of her kids classmates. But different from me, he wants her back, his family still talks to her. But I guess that's the kids.
She can't stand him (ex to be), but misses being in a marriage. She is going on dates, too, but we both know that we are not healthy enough to date...but it's just something we have to do.
She called and was having a "bad" day too.
I took a nap after crying so much. I had already agreed to a b-day party with the neighbors, so I had to get up and go. I'm glad I did.
These folks are kind, Bill had turned 65 and his wife threw him a surprise party, as it turns out, his boat is on the same dock as ours.
He works in Richmond during the week. They too are on their 2nd marriage.
Anyway, I met a new couple friend.
I drank water. I'm glad I had no alcohol.
Then I get a shitty email from Jon, telling me the Texas house lease will be notarized and should get a copy soon. (that part was good, ) But he had read this BLOG and liked the pix, but felt the content was inappropriate for a public forum....FUCK HIM.
So I made it private. He no longer has access. So if you are reading this, you are considered, my trusted few.
My pal from TX sent me a book --it is religious based, but so far it's awesome, I'm on chapter 4 (thanks Val) it's basically stories from the Bible of how people deal with issues like mine, but then the Bible stories are translated w modern spins--so sorta Bible for dummies.
I'm gonna go read that and a short book called HEAL Thyself by Bach ( recommended by my life coach)
I could have retorted back to Jon with FUCK you, but I did not. I simply chose to ignore his remarks, not respond to his email and now my blog is private.
That is what my life coach has taught me: responding in a higher level, not animal behaviors (fuck you) but human behaviors: no response, make blog private.
There is this guy I met on match.com. He's a widower x 9 yrs, but something is off about him. So I'm not gonna keep texting w him. He looks good on paper, and looked attractive in photos, but I don't want to be anyone's intsant Mom. Plus he does't have a smart phone and that already makes me suspicious, told me to buy him one--that screams scam.
So bye-bye Joseph. Also Bye-bye to Gregg, the United pilot, Tom the detective/cop in Richmond.
But I do have a 2nd date w Brian the attorney in richmond. Sometime in November when I go up again for work, he also mentioned about meeting in Wmsburg for an early dinner. Maybe, he was cute and smart, shorter than I would have preferred, but taller than me. Hh also has a home build in the early 50's, so we have that in common. He has 2 kids in college both at VCU.
So much for this being a blog about a renovation, it's now become a blog about me. Maybe some renovation.
Thx for reading it. I suppose its just my online journal.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Man, Al is really doing a good job, Monday and Tuesday were pretty horrific. Lots of demolition, all the nasty drywall and plaster and 65 year old wool insulation.
I got home Sunday about 2pm. I was working in another town on the weekend at a clinic, it's about 2 hours from here. I spent Saturday night there.
So Sunday when I got home I had to MOVE literally everything from my office, the bathroom and the other bedroom in order for demolition to start.
First I had to start with all my work computers. 3 monitors and various hookups and locks and all this other electronic gear, printer scanner, telephone lines---all had to be moved.
At first I told the demo guys to not mess with the internet boxes, but they did anyway---so I had no internet. And I work from home via a computer---so since Monday I've had to use the hot spot on my telephone for all internet and phone service.
4 days into it, the home internet says it's linked, but there is no connection, so something must still be out--work internet is only via a cable that doesn't reach. so work internet is offline, too.
I moved to the front porch. Then I had to move EVERYTHING else that had been stored, shoved and placed in a holding pattern for 2.5 years waiting for a new house.
THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
The window guys are giving me grief about scheduling installation, because I ordered them in time to be installed 01AUG16. But when your spouse is having an affair and you discover his sexting on 08AUG16, it's hard to wrap your head around any home construction.
And then he drains all the accounts of 49% of all the money. Without giving notice, just one day, the very next day after my birthday (which he failed to acknowledge) I tried to log on to the bank and was told all the passwords were changed.
His excuse for never making a celebration of my birthday was because his was on Xmas eve, no one ever made a big deal of his birthday, he just got one of his xmas presents renamed as a bday gift.
That's BULL shit! I-- for 20 years made a big deal of his birthday, I made it special, took him out to his favorite steak restaurant, tried even once to dress in tux and gown and limo--which is hard to arrange on xmas eve. I always used B-day paper to wrap his gifts and made sure he got plenty of Bday cards from my family and his that I saved and presented all at once on his bday. But he never cared much for cards. I eventually stopped the cards.
What did we do for my 50th bday? My 50th BIG DEAL birthday?
We went to his college reunion, which I was fine with, but he did nothing special, didn't even get me a gift, he took me out to a dinner at a place I made reservations at. Didn't tell any friends that it was my birthday, didn't get me a silly hat or even a button to wear.
I made the plans to stay at a B&B. He completely did nothing, no I think I got a card. I was wrong--when your wife of 15 years turns 50, I guess it only warrants a card.
NO IT DOES NOT!
That was so hurtful, I even brought up a special bottle of champagne, he could have suggested we share it with everyone at the breakfast and have a mimosa or toast me...nope, I had to bring it out later that afternoon and share it with the B&B hosts.
I'm honestly trying to think of anything special or romantic that he did, anything at all that showed he put thought into what I would like or want, vs me just giving him a list.
I can think of a few things: one year he bought me a whole bunch of squirt guns, I had been looking for them to discipline the cats and was having trouble finding them. He found them. That was one of the best Xmas gifts, or really any gift at all he ever got me.
The other one was a towel calendar. I collect them and had been giving them to my Aunt for all of my life, she had recently died.
I was certainly surprised with the engagement ring, it was HUGE and beautiful and exactly what I had dreamed of and imagined. It was lovely, I was so proud to wear it.
I would look at it on my hand and know he loved me. I loved how when I was in an airplane and the light would stream in the window, it would create rainbows on the wall of the airplane. I thought that it was some spiritual connection with he fact he was an airline pilot.
I hated how he proposed to me, especially being a very PRIVATE and embarrassed easily person. He asked me to marry him on his birthday, at his sister's house, with tons of people already knowing he was gonna propose.
I would have much preferred it be a private proposal. Just something he and I could have shared.
And that was the entire problem with our marriage. He NEVER felt I was his family, he felt I was his wife. And to him, his family was always first---but my belief was that he and I were one, a family, even though we didn't have kids--we were one, best friends, supportive, always a champion of the other, never to speak badly about your husband to others, keep your personal issues personal.
what do I do with that ring now? I still love it, it still represents love to me. I hated leaving it at home when I went on deployment, can't wear it due to de-gloving injury risks. And a ship is NOT a place for a huge beautiful ring, so I left it at home for 9 months. It was one of the first things I wanted to put on when I got back home.
I forgot about getting home from deployment. He was late to pick me up by several hours, after 9 months apart, he couldn't figure out where or when to get me.
He did have a sign up at the house. But I wanted someone on the shore to be waiting for me. Not me stranded on the sand with no way to contact him. OR even know if he was coming to get me. (Before we all had cell phones. ) Damn that hurt.
Again compared to all the planning and decorating and US flags and special outfits and wanting to make everything perfect when he came back from deployment.
I got home Sunday about 2pm. I was working in another town on the weekend at a clinic, it's about 2 hours from here. I spent Saturday night there.
So Sunday when I got home I had to MOVE literally everything from my office, the bathroom and the other bedroom in order for demolition to start.
First I had to start with all my work computers. 3 monitors and various hookups and locks and all this other electronic gear, printer scanner, telephone lines---all had to be moved.
At first I told the demo guys to not mess with the internet boxes, but they did anyway---so I had no internet. And I work from home via a computer---so since Monday I've had to use the hot spot on my telephone for all internet and phone service.
4 days into it, the home internet says it's linked, but there is no connection, so something must still be out--work internet is only via a cable that doesn't reach. so work internet is offline, too.
I moved to the front porch. Then I had to move EVERYTHING else that had been stored, shoved and placed in a holding pattern for 2.5 years waiting for a new house.
THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
The window guys are giving me grief about scheduling installation, because I ordered them in time to be installed 01AUG16. But when your spouse is having an affair and you discover his sexting on 08AUG16, it's hard to wrap your head around any home construction.
And then he drains all the accounts of 49% of all the money. Without giving notice, just one day, the very next day after my birthday (which he failed to acknowledge) I tried to log on to the bank and was told all the passwords were changed.
His excuse for never making a celebration of my birthday was because his was on Xmas eve, no one ever made a big deal of his birthday, he just got one of his xmas presents renamed as a bday gift.
That's BULL shit! I-- for 20 years made a big deal of his birthday, I made it special, took him out to his favorite steak restaurant, tried even once to dress in tux and gown and limo--which is hard to arrange on xmas eve. I always used B-day paper to wrap his gifts and made sure he got plenty of Bday cards from my family and his that I saved and presented all at once on his bday. But he never cared much for cards. I eventually stopped the cards.
What did we do for my 50th bday? My 50th BIG DEAL birthday?
We went to his college reunion, which I was fine with, but he did nothing special, didn't even get me a gift, he took me out to a dinner at a place I made reservations at. Didn't tell any friends that it was my birthday, didn't get me a silly hat or even a button to wear.
I made the plans to stay at a B&B. He completely did nothing, no I think I got a card. I was wrong--when your wife of 15 years turns 50, I guess it only warrants a card.
NO IT DOES NOT!
That was so hurtful, I even brought up a special bottle of champagne, he could have suggested we share it with everyone at the breakfast and have a mimosa or toast me...nope, I had to bring it out later that afternoon and share it with the B&B hosts.
I'm honestly trying to think of anything special or romantic that he did, anything at all that showed he put thought into what I would like or want, vs me just giving him a list.
I can think of a few things: one year he bought me a whole bunch of squirt guns, I had been looking for them to discipline the cats and was having trouble finding them. He found them. That was one of the best Xmas gifts, or really any gift at all he ever got me.
The other one was a towel calendar. I collect them and had been giving them to my Aunt for all of my life, she had recently died.
I was certainly surprised with the engagement ring, it was HUGE and beautiful and exactly what I had dreamed of and imagined. It was lovely, I was so proud to wear it.
I would look at it on my hand and know he loved me. I loved how when I was in an airplane and the light would stream in the window, it would create rainbows on the wall of the airplane. I thought that it was some spiritual connection with he fact he was an airline pilot.
I hated how he proposed to me, especially being a very PRIVATE and embarrassed easily person. He asked me to marry him on his birthday, at his sister's house, with tons of people already knowing he was gonna propose.
I would have much preferred it be a private proposal. Just something he and I could have shared.
And that was the entire problem with our marriage. He NEVER felt I was his family, he felt I was his wife. And to him, his family was always first---but my belief was that he and I were one, a family, even though we didn't have kids--we were one, best friends, supportive, always a champion of the other, never to speak badly about your husband to others, keep your personal issues personal.
what do I do with that ring now? I still love it, it still represents love to me. I hated leaving it at home when I went on deployment, can't wear it due to de-gloving injury risks. And a ship is NOT a place for a huge beautiful ring, so I left it at home for 9 months. It was one of the first things I wanted to put on when I got back home.
I forgot about getting home from deployment. He was late to pick me up by several hours, after 9 months apart, he couldn't figure out where or when to get me.
He did have a sign up at the house. But I wanted someone on the shore to be waiting for me. Not me stranded on the sand with no way to contact him. OR even know if he was coming to get me. (Before we all had cell phones. ) Damn that hurt.
Again compared to all the planning and decorating and US flags and special outfits and wanting to make everything perfect when he came back from deployment.
 |
| new pipes in crawl space |
 |
| different view, where sink and vanity will be placed I met with the plumber, two electricians, the lady at the tile store, and the spray foam insulation guy---all while working full time on jimmy rigged internet. I'm exhausted, just literally, physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted---but I can't sleep, I woke up at 3 this AM. I had to go to class tonight then to my Mom's house to shower. At least I'm clean. I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, I'm just gonna go to bed now. I was listening to Christian music radio. Those songs sure do hit an emotionally raw person like me. It's hard to drive when you are balling like a baby. So do country music songs. Damn them. |
Thursday, October 20, 2016
October 20, 2016
Al and the crew working the roof.
Finally things have started in the last phase of renovation.
However, plans have drastically changed. My spouse of 16 years has left me for an affair with a married woman w 2 kids in California. They re-united on Facebook, bitching about their respective bad marriages and it started from there.
She swore to me in a text in August that she was ashamed, and did not want to have her kids to come from a broken marriage and was gonna stop all contact w Jon.
She was gonna fix her marriage.
J is an airline pilot and all his trips with overnight stays were to san diego, where she lives.
But the gut is a wise and knowledgable instinct, I have read that the 6th sense, intuition or whatever you call is is actually your soul.
Mine said to me: trust, but verify---in fact, that was a lesson taught to me in residency. That way, you made sure your patient was always safe and getting the care they needed and deserved.
So I enlisted the help of some seal team friends.
They obtained irrefutable proof that on 9/11/16 neither one of them has any remaining integrity or honor.
I wonder if you can ever regain those characteristics once you loose them?
I've never felt very honorable, however, I do hold strong beliefs about duty and for me, I think honor means keeping your promises, doing what you say you will do. Siri says: adherence to what is right, to fulfill an obligation, so I suppose my definition is correct.
So now the beach house is all I have.
Maybe it will be done by winter. I hope so. It was cold here last winter. And I'm sure I won't be running off to Key West for a week like we did the past 2 years.
We spent close to 70K on architect fees, soil borings, surveyors fees, structural engineers, for naught. No cool contemporary house will be built. In fact, I just went to another flood zone meeting this Monday. If there is not permit in the city by 17FEB17, the opportunity to build on that lot is gonna go away.
Now I spend all my money on therapists, life coaches and shamans.
I gave up drinking any alcohol, because it doesn't make the pain go away. And amazingly I have lost now over 20#. I weighed 113# last time I checked, now I'm getting too thin, but that's just from lack of appetite.
I cry everyday, but I have a saying taped to my wall: "Even if I have to cry everyday for a couple of years, its better than having a frozen heart."
"Sometimes when the people you love hurt you the most, it's better to stay quiet because, if your love wasn't enough....Do you think your words will matter?"
But then....
"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time" Maya Angelou
Talk about mixed messages.
Normal is an illusion, what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
and then: We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don't believe in miracles?
Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three.
God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing. All you need is faith.
Finally things have started in the last phase of renovation.
However, plans have drastically changed. My spouse of 16 years has left me for an affair with a married woman w 2 kids in California. They re-united on Facebook, bitching about their respective bad marriages and it started from there.
She swore to me in a text in August that she was ashamed, and did not want to have her kids to come from a broken marriage and was gonna stop all contact w Jon.
She was gonna fix her marriage.
J is an airline pilot and all his trips with overnight stays were to san diego, where she lives.
But the gut is a wise and knowledgable instinct, I have read that the 6th sense, intuition or whatever you call is is actually your soul.
Mine said to me: trust, but verify---in fact, that was a lesson taught to me in residency. That way, you made sure your patient was always safe and getting the care they needed and deserved.
So I enlisted the help of some seal team friends.
They obtained irrefutable proof that on 9/11/16 neither one of them has any remaining integrity or honor.
I wonder if you can ever regain those characteristics once you loose them?
I've never felt very honorable, however, I do hold strong beliefs about duty and for me, I think honor means keeping your promises, doing what you say you will do. Siri says: adherence to what is right, to fulfill an obligation, so I suppose my definition is correct.
So now the beach house is all I have.
Maybe it will be done by winter. I hope so. It was cold here last winter. And I'm sure I won't be running off to Key West for a week like we did the past 2 years.
We spent close to 70K on architect fees, soil borings, surveyors fees, structural engineers, for naught. No cool contemporary house will be built. In fact, I just went to another flood zone meeting this Monday. If there is not permit in the city by 17FEB17, the opportunity to build on that lot is gonna go away.
Now I spend all my money on therapists, life coaches and shamans.
I gave up drinking any alcohol, because it doesn't make the pain go away. And amazingly I have lost now over 20#. I weighed 113# last time I checked, now I'm getting too thin, but that's just from lack of appetite.
I cry everyday, but I have a saying taped to my wall: "Even if I have to cry everyday for a couple of years, its better than having a frozen heart."
"Sometimes when the people you love hurt you the most, it's better to stay quiet because, if your love wasn't enough....Do you think your words will matter?"
But then....
"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time" Maya Angelou
Talk about mixed messages.
Normal is an illusion, what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
and then: We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don't believe in miracles?
Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three.
God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing. All you need is faith.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Finally a new entry!
Its March 15th--the Ides of March!
The landscaping has commenced. They are ripping out the old vines and overgrown bushes and lots of old concrete blocks.
They have trimmed the Live Oaks.
They pulled out all the nasty vines near the trash cans.
They have a dump truck and are putting all the nasty stuff in it. All the old metal fence posts, concrete parts that held the fence posts---all going away.
YAY!
before
after day #1
The landscaping has commenced. They are ripping out the old vines and overgrown bushes and lots of old concrete blocks.
They have trimmed the Live Oaks.
They pulled out all the nasty vines near the trash cans.
They have a dump truck and are putting all the nasty stuff in it. All the old metal fence posts, concrete parts that held the fence posts---all going away.
YAY!
before
after day #1
Monday, February 15, 2016
28 degrees
It's snowing, lightly, it 5:48 am, I've been awake for an hour. Outside, it is white and quiet. The rocks are snow covered and the bay is calm. The street is still white, no rush hour slush, blissfully absent of cars except for the occasional idiot driving in the snow.
My cats are perched on their electric heated pads, watching out the windows, peering on the snowy beach for any movement. Will they see an elusive fox? Or even the feral/stray cat that I feed nightly? I doubt it, those animals, I hope, are tucked in a warm, dry spot.
Maybe in the insulated box I placed out there under the deck, just for this kind of weather!
My one guy, Cooper, has probably never felt snow before. He is a true Texas boy. Gavel is snoring. Basil is asleep.
The bay bridge lights are hidden in the fog and grey sky of the snow. Not even a flicker.
Today the temps will turn upwards toward the 40s and snow will change to rain. But for now, it's lovely and quiet.
The warm coffee has helped, I have warmed up.
My cats are perched on their electric heated pads, watching out the windows, peering on the snowy beach for any movement. Will they see an elusive fox? Or even the feral/stray cat that I feed nightly? I doubt it, those animals, I hope, are tucked in a warm, dry spot.
Maybe in the insulated box I placed out there under the deck, just for this kind of weather!
My one guy, Cooper, has probably never felt snow before. He is a true Texas boy. Gavel is snoring. Basil is asleep.
The bay bridge lights are hidden in the fog and grey sky of the snow. Not even a flicker.
Today the temps will turn upwards toward the 40s and snow will change to rain. But for now, it's lovely and quiet.
The warm coffee has helped, I have warmed up.
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